Lindsay and Madison discuss Grace Sherwood—the Witch of Pungo, as well as why pants are a gateway drug to sorcery, that ducking isn’t as fun as it sounds, and how you should never grow anything for medicinal purposes, ever.

Lindsay and Madison discuss Major Thomas Weir—the Wizard of West Bow, as well as why you should always question anyone who can be seen as a “pillar of the community,” that being a sexual deviant can have serious consequences, and how you should always double-check before you go number two.

Lindsay and Madison discuss Goody Garlick, as well as why being a healer was basically the Russian Roulette of occupations, that people who live in small towns are gossipy assholes, and how you should always treat others how you want to be treated (unless you want to be treated like a witch).

Lindsay and Madison discuss the victims of the Vardø Witch Trials, as well as why you should never attend a rager on a mountain, that spending time with cats and dogs is a bad idea, and how you should always avoid morning doves—especially if they start following you around.

Lindsay and Madison discuss the victims of the Essex Witch Trials, as well as why working in healthcare was dangerous business in the Middle Ages, that owning pets often labeled you as a witch, and how family and neighborhood feuds were a great way to get rid of people who pissed you off - just call them a witch!